One of my son's favorite stories is titled, "A Fly Went By". It's cute and involves a various amounts of animals as well. But, I have recently decided that flies are not funny, cute, or in any way, shape or form something a children's story or nursery rhyme should be written about. Flies have been more accurately depicted in the movie "The Fly" with Jeff Goldblum. Now that's the reality of a fly. They're gross.
To be honest, I feel the same way about rats. I'm a huge Disney fan and will go see almost anything they put to film, but when I went to see "Ratatouille", I left the theater disappointed and realizing the truth --- Rats, especially in the hundreds, don't warm my heart, even when Disney has gotten a hold of them and makes them as human as possible. Once you've seen a rat run across an alley, scurry out of the way in a restaurant, or leave rat droppings behind in your apartment hallway, their humor ceases.
I say this for ants as well. Though clever, the movie "Antz" left me itching. Ants moving as a group, animated or otherwise, are just creepy. By the way, mice get a pass... don't know why, but those guys in "An American Tale" & "Stuart Little are just down right charming. I think Mickey Mouse really paved the way for the mouse.
I say this for ants as well. Though clever, the movie "Antz" left me itching. Ants moving as a group, animated or otherwise, are just creepy. By the way, mice get a pass... don't know why, but those guys in "An American Tale" & "Stuart Little are just down right charming. I think Mickey Mouse really paved the way for the mouse.
Okay, sorry, I digress. The fly. Not funny. Not cute. My feelings about this recently increased 10-fold.
You see, the days following a recent party at my house, we have been overrun with flies in the windows. The buzzing alone is enough to make a woman lose her mind, but when I opened the blinds to find 15... that's right... FIFTEEN flies attached to my window, I actually lost time. I became a crazy murderer armed with a section of the newspaper. I had an out of body experience as I watched myself maniacally slam the window over and over screaming, "Die, you bastards! Die!"
I'm a peaceful person. Really, I am. I like my husband to send spiders, moths and other things not welcome in my home, out the door to let their life unfold as it should naturally. We have a rabbit problem where they are eating our grass and garden like we were holding a dinner party for them, and still, I won't let my husband use anything toxic to deter them.
So, you can imagine my distress when, once out of my hysteria and back safely in my own consciousness, I saw the remnants of my massacre lying on the floor below the dining room windows.
There were bodies everywhere.
I know how many there were because I counted as I picked them up with a paper towel, and I'm almost sure I heard little tiny bagpipes playing "Amazing Grace" in the background.
I half expected Horatio from CSI Miami to come in with his high tech equipment eying me as a primary suspect above his sunglasses.
I cleaned them up worrying that Karma would come to haunt me sooner than I would like.
Twenty minutes passed, and I had begun to recover from my temporary insanity, which I had decided to plea if Horatio actually did appear. Then, suddenly out of the corner of my eye, I heard a buzzing against the window.
They were back. There were four of them! I put my husband on execution duty after that. They continued to reappear for the next three days as if out of nowhere. I was worried that Karma really was a bitch, so I Googled "Reappearing Flies". The answer I got was something to the extent of something dead in the wall that had grown maggots which turned into flies --- followed by "the good news" of once they had eaten the dead thing completely, the flies would disappear with nothing to feed on.
Wow. I feel so much better.
I'm a peaceful person. Really, I am. I like my husband to send spiders, moths and other things not welcome in my home, out the door to let their life unfold as it should naturally. We have a rabbit problem where they are eating our grass and garden like we were holding a dinner party for them, and still, I won't let my husband use anything toxic to deter them.
So, you can imagine my distress when, once out of my hysteria and back safely in my own consciousness, I saw the remnants of my massacre lying on the floor below the dining room windows.
There were bodies everywhere.
I half expected Horatio from CSI Miami to come in with his high tech equipment eying me as a primary suspect above his sunglasses.
I cleaned them up worrying that Karma would come to haunt me sooner than I would like.
Twenty minutes passed, and I had begun to recover from my temporary insanity, which I had decided to plea if Horatio actually did appear. Then, suddenly out of the corner of my eye, I heard a buzzing against the window.
They were back. There were four of them! I put my husband on execution duty after that. They continued to reappear for the next three days as if out of nowhere. I was worried that Karma really was a bitch, so I Googled "Reappearing Flies". The answer I got was something to the extent of something dead in the wall that had grown maggots which turned into flies --- followed by "the good news" of once they had eaten the dead thing completely, the flies would disappear with nothing to feed on.
Wow. I feel so much better.
