Monday, March 30, 2015

Conversations with the kids 1

I go back and forth about whether I would prefer to be a working mom or a stay at home mom. Mind you, this is not a choice at the moment, but balance of the two leaves me really feeling between two worlds so much of the time.  (This is a topic for a whole other post.)

However, since becoming a parent, there are conversations I never thought I'd have and questions I never dreamed I would have to answer. These make me think it might be a good thing that there are moments in my day when I talk to adults since keeping sane is key to good parenting I hear.
For instance, the other day:

"Mom, do you think huge robots are real?"  

I think a moment and answer, "Well, I certainly don't know how to build one, but I could send you to a camp that does." 

It's then that I start dreaming about my rocket scientist at NASA, and how he might change the world. 
I will have created that. 
I swell with pride.

He replies, "Well, I only want to go if you can come too."

Awww. Right? 

Then I start to wonder what NASA camp costs. 
Should we move to Florida to support his dreams? 
I'm not really psyched about living in FL, but for him...
--- wait a minute!!!!  
No one, as this point, is going to robot camp... if there even is such a thing.
You see how quickly I get sucked in???

Then - "Mom, if I become a Ninja Turtle, do you think I will need to live in the sewers?"

I decide it's a little premature to move to Florida.

There's also the constant and mind-numbing debate about the all-consuming "screen time". 
He could easily watch TV or play some sort of video game all day long if I let him. No joke. Remember, the kid from Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory? 
I am convinced that my resourceful munchkin is going to somehow find a golden ticket, be sucked into a TV, and taken away by the strangely over self-tanned Oompa Loompas. 

"Mom, can I have one more show to watch?"
" no, you already watched an hour long movie."
"Just one tiny one?" 

(He pinches his fingers together to show me how small.  I don't tell him that movies and TV aren't measured in that increment.  It's kind of besides the point.)

"No sweetie."
"Pleeeease!  Just this many short?" 

(He holds up three fingers - again an inaccurate unit of measurement to use, but lets not mess with the details)

"No, and please don't ask me again."
"Mom, if you let me watch one more show, I'll eat my dinner, and go to school."

His negotiation style, while good, needs some improvement in the counter-offer.

I think, "Wait! Maybe he'll be in merger and acquisitions!"

With my three-year old, the conversations get pretty basic, but in no way less insane!

"Harper, please get your hands out of your vagina."
"Yeah, Harper," says her brother, "you can get it sick that way!"

Maybe he'll be a doctor?

"My hands weren't in my vagina, they were in my butt."

Oh good, that's much better.

"Well, the poop can make you sick."
"No, not IN my butt. On the bump!"


Have you gotten sucked into a conversation this week with your little lunatics?
Please say yes.