Monday, October 6, 2014

The mental state of a mom of a toddler

Hey, I'm not saying I'm over 40.

Not that there's anything wrong with being over 40.

Some of my best friends are over 40.

But, hypothetically, could an over 40 year old go through a midlife crisis?
And if so, it's possible that I am "my friend" is definitely going through one.

WTF??? This is where that would apply.

Seriously though, given my emotional roller coaster this past week, I have confirmed that there are pros and cons to having had a "geriatric pregnancy", or being a mom of "advanced maternal age".

By the way, thank you to the gynecological society for coining those terms of support.

I mean, having my kids towards the end of my 30's was great because:

  • Giving my social life over to my children wasn't such a trial since I already cashed in all my tequila coupons, and my ability to stay up until 2 am had passed.
  • I'd done so much therapy that I'd run out of material. 
  • I had lived a lot. Made a lot of mistakes.     A lot.     So, now my kids wouldn't be able to pull the wool over my eyes with their teenage manipulation. (However, I had the luxury of not growing up with every mistake documented on the internet. So I don't know what that's like. Thank God for small miracles.)
  • I'm such a believer in therapy, it was time to groom the next generation to perpetuate the industry.
  • Supposedly, during my 20's and 30's I built emotional skills to now parent with patience and wisdom in my 40's. (I just can't say that without giggling a little.)

But it hasn't all been a bed of roses:

  • Every time I leave my keys in the refrigerator, start a sentence only to fade off in an effort to remember what I was hoping to say, or forget my loving husband's name, I silently wonder if these are early signs of dementia. (A thought I'm sure my 28 year old counterparts don't entertain.)
  • As I weather bouts of significant mood swings, my doctor has to remind me that I'm the mom of two kids under 6 because I'm grilling her on the early symptoms of "the change".
  • Never mind that I'm just tired. I know all moms are tired, but through observation, the younger ones are navigating it a hair better.
So, if "my friend" was worried about her status of possible mid-life crisis, I think I can just make her feel better by telling her it's not that, she's just an older mom.


Any opinions on whether it easier to me an older mom or a younger one?